When Popcorn Smells Like Butt
I have come to the realization that when popcorn smells like butt, it’s time to break dance. True story.
Also, never call a goth chick an Emu. For some reason, they don’t like being likened to an ostrich-like bird. Weird huh? I mean who doesn’t like being called a big fucking bird? I know I do.
Also, I just wanted everyone that reads to know that I suffer from a very rare, terminal disease: I-eat-cough-drops-like-they’re-candy-itis. Very contagious. I got it from this prostitute who was giving me a rim job. Now my rims are all clean, but my bumper is dirty. And my fender needs a wax. Hoody hoo.
Last night, I dreamt I was a grocery clerk cowgirl saving the world from giant dirty snowballs. Only, I got a concussion from a beached whale and ended up married to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air in a Lincoln Log house.
I will never eat pussy before I go to bed again. And by pussy I mean Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk Ice Cream.
Deeba deeba deeba dat’s all folks!
Hey! I must have subscribed to your feed, like, a long time ago, when I was drunk or somesuch, because I don’t remember it. I don’t update very often, either. In any case, this seems humourous, so I will continue to read it.
Oh no, I’ve infected you too! Apparently symptoms are believing me to be funny. I’m so sorry, now you’ll be eating cough drops like they’re candy.
Since I gave you the disease, it’s only fair I pay for your bills. Well, not all of them, your utilities and your balance due at the XXX video store is still on you.
My fender needs a wax too, toots!
xo
::ended up married to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air in a Lincoln Log house.::
as if the coloreds can afford lincoln logs…
hahahahaha… I hope you get to feeling better soon. Sounds like your cough drop addiction is getting expensive.
~2
Dude, you have lost your freakin’ mind.
Don’t look for it.
Think of the kiddies.
Howdy, you are a poster child for Non-Sequitur.
My kind of blog, tell it how it is, no bull! Bravo:)