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	<title>Pissing In Cheerios</title>
	<link>http://phattitudes.com/PissingInCheerios</link>
	<description>It's not just for breakfast anymore</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Sat, 27 Oct 2007 05:55:01 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>When Popcorn Smells Like Butt</title>
		<description><![CDATA[I have come to the realization that when popcorn smells like butt, it&#8217;s time to break dance. True story.
Also, never call a goth chick an Emu. For some reason, they don&#8217;t like being likened to an ostrich-like bird. Weird huh? I mean who doesn&#8217;t like being called a big fucking bird? I know I do.
Also, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://phattitudes.com/PissingInCheerios/2007/10/27/when-popcorn-smells-like-butt/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Bringing Home the Bacon</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Where have I been this past month you ask?
On hiatus, attempting to find employment that will feed my children and still support my Jager and Altoids habit.
The job market is brutal. But if I&#8217;ve learned anything these past few weeks, it&#8217;s that eventually you find a female boss hard up enough for sex that she [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://phattitudes.com/PissingInCheerios/2007/10/12/bringing-home-the-bacon/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>The Unspeakable Evil That Is Butterflies</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Don&#8217;t look at me like that.
I mean, they fool you, those fluttery little bastards. But butterflies, they are evil. Horrifically evil in the most unspeakable of ways. But I&#8217;m going to speak about it anyways, so maybe that last part isn&#8217;t as true as I led you to believe. But, just because I lied about [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://phattitudes.com/PissingInCheerios/2007/09/21/the-unspeakable-evil-that-is-butterflies/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Grody to the Max(i)</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Menstruation.
Gross right?
I remember back when I was hanging with this chick Antoinette. She was like 11 or 12 and I was 7. She had her period (early bloomer) and was telling me it was so wonderful. She lied straight through her slutty teeth. Man, I hate that girl. But I couldn&#8217;t wait to get my [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://phattitudes.com/PissingInCheerios/2007/09/10/grody-to-the-maxi/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Lost In Translation</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Sometimes when I&#8217;m alone, I play this game with myself.
Then I take my fingers out, lick them and play this other game.
I make up my own definitions for regular old words. Then I use them in front of people and giggle to myself when people look at me funny. Then I take my fingers out [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://phattitudes.com/PissingInCheerios/2007/09/08/lost-in-translation/</link>
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		<title>Poon, Tang and Severed Cox</title>
		<description><![CDATA[They bobbitted me.
Cut off my cocks, er, cox, those dirty pirate hookers. (Mmm, dirty pirate hookers)
I&#8217;m now blogging to you from a contraption I finagled using only an empty soup can, some string, tin foil and an old calculator hooked up to a pay phone. (I&#8217;m the female MacGuyver, Jayne!)
I have to keep putting quarters [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://phattitudes.com/PissingInCheerios/2007/09/07/poon-tang-and-severed-cox/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>POON!!!</title>
		<description><![CDATA[This whole becoming a lesbian thing is great. I can say poon all I want, and when strangers look at me funny, I just lick my lips and tell them I like to eat the poon, and then do the wiggly eyebrow thing so they know I&#8217;m a dirty little lez.
I think poon has to [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://phattitudes.com/PissingInCheerios/2007/09/05/poon/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>I&#8217;m Not a Playa, I Just Crotch a Lot</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Several days ago, when I still had money [and a job], I took my little bottom-feeders out to eat. We went to a buffet of course, you know how we do!*
*I don&#8217;t speak ghetto, I&#8217;ve just wanted to say that for a long time
So, I&#8217;m sitting there eating my crunchy vegetables [chocolate cake] when I [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://phattitudes.com/PissingInCheerios/2007/09/03/im-not-a-playa-i-just-crotch-a-lot/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Oh Mysterious Tater Tots</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Oh mysterious Tater Tot, thou does puzzle me.
How do you keep your cylindrical shape?

Last night after dinner, I took my last tater tot to bed. As I lay in bed, the warmth of starchy tater goodness rumbling around in my tummy, I admired my lone tot. I cuddled with it, held it and sang to [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://phattitudes.com/PissingInCheerios/2007/09/03/oh-mysterious-tater-tots/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>In Fear of the Alpha Lesbian</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Earlier this morning, as I was walking Peanut the Weiner Dog Wonder, I observed him urinating in various spots all over the neighborhood. Mostly, he peed on other animals&#8217; feces. Which, I must say, is curiously troubling. Personally, I think I&#8217;d have trouble peeing on someone else&#8217;s poo.
Anypoot, it occurs to me as I watch [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://phattitudes.com/PissingInCheerios/2007/08/29/in-fear-of-the-alpha-lesbian/</link>
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